Good Lord, I do love that town. In the words of the King…VIVA!
Even still, it’s great to be back home and fired up for another Saturday
of college football. They were calling last weekend “Separation Saturday”,
but they should have added a “Part 1”. I’m looking for even
more inside straights to take place tomorrow in this crazy Div. 1 season.
Beaver fans hit the trifecta…going up in the polls without playing a
game, another Toilet Seat implosion on ABC and a Fusky embarrassment to the
Fudgepack of the WAC. Nirvana! Too bad the Mildcats crapped out against FUCLA.
It would have been worth it to split on my predictions.
Week 7 gave me a 3-1 record, but kept me at 74% for the season. Regardless,
I’m letting it ride, since I’m playing with house money, and present
to you my Week 8 parlay card.
Saturday, October 18th, 2003
The Mildcats get a much-needed week off to regroup and lick their wounds.
Coach Dirk Diggler will have the Chiquita’s spend the weekend writing
an essay entitled “Home for the Holidays” while he examines the
job market at Monster.com.
Cal @ UCLA – This is my Smack-10 “Upset Lock of
the Week.” Cal State Liberal has had two weeks to prep for the Ruins and
it will show early and often. Any doubt that Coach Deadford was the brain behind
the uck machine should now be permanently erased and his game plan will expose
the Ruins for the team they really are. Birkenstock State trickerations abound
as FUCLA and Coach Bad Dog Karl gets their first league loss in a mild shocker.
Cal 33 of a kind – UCLA 22 pair.
WSU @ Stanford – Here’s the first “letdown
special” of the week as Wazzugly comes off a bye and takes on The Tree
in their first home game in over a month. Will the Bougs be looking past The
Boys of Bark to their home contest next week against the Beavs? Probably. Will
it cause them to “Coug” it? Not a chance. Coach Dope has made sure
his chargees have taken care of biz every week since their debacle in South
Bent and will do so again this week. The Tree is talented in many ways, but
just too darn young and inexperienced to hang with the Crimson and Silver. Déjà
vu for The Tree as Wazzugly starts slow, speeds away like U$C and sets up the
Pac-10 Game of the Year next week in the Palousy. WSU 42 – The
Tree stands at 17.
ASU @ North Carolina – The Scum Devils, fresh off their
second straight drubbing of Cal State Eugene, head 3,000 miles east to face
the *hitheels of Crapple Hill. This might as well be a bye for Coach Sodcutter
and Company, cause the Heels absolutely stink. Look for another big day from
resurrected QB Falter and a solid day for their improving defense. Vegas
is the Debil! 45 – NorCar 10.
USC @ Notre Dame – The resurgent Domers of South Bent,
fresh off a nifty upset of ranked ArmPitt, play host to Toejam U. and give us
our second “letdown special.” It’s hard to really get a bead
on Condom State. They have thumped everyone they should have, but lost the only
time they faced creativity and adversity. Neutered Dame has generally stunk
up the joint, until their improbable victory in Transylvania, and should be
fired up for this one. Will it and their monstrous crowd be enough to carry
them past a very talented U$C squad? Nope. Spoiled Condom fends off early adversity
to hold serve and keep their Top 10 ranking in tact. USC your bet and
raise you 28 – Notre Dame 14.
And, bringing it home to papa…
UW @ Da Beavs – The Beavs lay down another “Biggest
Game of the Year” bet with a “letdown special” kicker and
spots ten points to boot. They’re healthy, hungry and ready to cash in
on a playing-with-scared-money Fusky squad. Down to their last hand, the Cryee
Crowd will do just about anything to win a big one, including cashing in the
retirement fund. This makes them a very dangerous group. The Fuskies are nowhere
near as bad as the SeaTac media makes them out to be and have a long history
of finding a way to beat the house. But this is OUR house and the odds are defiantly
in our favor. With Mr. Jackson rolling 7’s on his runs and Big Game James
hitting blackjack on his receptions, Pit Boss Seigler and his dealers will shut
the tables down on the Fuskies and send them home with just enough money for
cab fare. The Pups will hit on a few hands early, but Casino Reser gets them
in the long run. Beavs 31 – UW 21.
And there you have it…my five game Smack-10 parlay card for Week #8.
Here’s hoping the rain stays way at the Salsa Bowl until after the game
and our anticipated celebration.
So until next time, I’ll take the King’s advice…
“A little less conversation, a little more action please.”
Fuggedahboudit!
Tony Soprano can be read every Friday. The views expressed in his column do
not necessarily represent those of BeaverFootball.com. He can be reached at
tony.soprano@beaverfootball.com.