The Wiseguy: Week 3

SHOW ME ANOTHER prognosticator who went 7-2 last week and who has a year-to-date record of 16-2. Didn’t think so. I finally have my voice back from the Las Vegas road trip. That joker starting the OSU chant in Section 127, yes that was indeed The Wiseguy. This week, I’m in search of even more danger -- with the most shocking pick I’ve made to date.

No. 8 California @ Minnesota
Golden Bears vs. Golden Gophers. It’s time for the Big-10 to be embarrassed by the Pac10…again. These Bears won’t be hibernating, they will be eating Gopher.
Pick: California

No. 3 USC @ Washington
Men of Troy will march into Seattle and escape with a win. This could be closer than you’d think -- it’s a prime spot for a USC letdown. Huskies will be playing with their heads cut off and the coffee baron alumni will do that thing they do out on the yachts in the bay.
Pick: USC

Arizona @ Iowa
The Wildcats will be tested in Iowa. It’s time to represent in another Pac-10 vs. Big-10 showdown. UO and USC have taken care of business, but will Stoops? No, he will just lose his voice again yelling out insanely at his players, the officials, hot dog vendors, etc. Someone needs to teach this Cat’ that coaching and yelling are two different things.
Pick: Iowa

SMU @ Washington State
The Cougars will win a game. This is not a typo! SMU is still trying decades later to recover from the most severe penalties ever against a college football program. The NCAA doesn’t seem to care much for slush funds and paying players.
Pick: Wazzu

San Jose State @ Stanford
This really isn’t much of a road game for the SJSU. I’m not buying the hype about Stanford and their improvement. Harbaugh gets flushed down his fancy toilet.
Pick: San Jose State

Louisiana-Monroe @ Arizona State
The Warhawks beat Texas Southern last week 58-0. Well, who cares! It’s a popcorn party for the Sun Devils as they stick a pitchfork into these guys. Memo to dads with young kids: Tell them they can have a popcorn party and they will let you watch college football instead of Dora the Explorer.
Pick: Arizona State

Kansas State @ UCLA
I’m taking the Bruins in this game in a battle of ugly uniforms. Baby powder blue and freaky purple? Give Phil Knight a phone call, maybe he can help. Uh, maybe not, bad idea.
Pick: UCLA

No. 16 Utah @ Oregon
The meltdown has started in Eugene. Granted they did escape with a win over Purdue last week (38-36), and they won’t finish 0-12 like earlier prognosticated. But they will lose to the better team. Utes flock the Ducks.
Pick: Utah

No. 17 Cincinnati @ No. 24 Oregon State
This Cincy squad can put points on the board , I don’t care if it was directional school SE Missouri State that the Bearcats hung 70 points on last week. The Beaver secondary will need to take note. It pains me to say this, but OSU will be outmatched. The Rodgers’ brothers may break their backs trying to carry Oregon State in this one.
Pick: Cincinnati

The Wiseguy can be reached with your comments and hatred for picking the Bearcats this week at [e-mail]. Dream it! Believe it! Bleed it!