Pac-10 Crystal Ball: Week 4

THE WORLD HAS gone mad. The current Pac-10 standings have Stanford and UW tied for the top spot in the conference -- while USC is tied for last. The slow return to normalcy starts this week. Except for the guy with the new $80K toilet. He gets to live, bathe and flush in Bizarro World for at least one more week.

California at Oregon
I'm already saving my receipts. As a Beaver fan, I feel very strongly that Chip Kelly should reimburse me for this game. I'll undoubtedly have to visit the optometrist after being subjected to whatever kind of uniform monstrosity the Quacks foist upon the viewing public. My time is worth, say, a couple grand an hour. Cough it up, you crazy little Coachin' Hamster from New Hampshire you.
Pick: Cal

Arizona State at No. 21 Georgia
Two perpetually overrated titans battling it out in the deep south. Why, it's a regular swine crossing gone horribly wrong. The Sun Devils are 3-26 against Top-25 teams since 2000.
Pick: Georgia

UCLA vs. Bye
The week off is nothing but temptation for our hero Rick. All it does is give him more time to figure out how to break the rules, fill out his app for Dancing with the Stars and do research on his soon-to-be winning bracket. Still think UCLA wins this one.
Pick: NCAA Rules Committee

Washington at Stanford
History shows you just don't beat a guy with a gold plated toilet advantage at home. And while the Huskies are much improved off their 0-12 lutefisk of last year, USC did everything humanly possible to choke away that game. Stanford won't. Besides, Harbaugh has him game face on, he's already refusing to share his joke o' the day toilet paper with Sarkisian.
Pick: Stanford

Washington State at USC
USC is probably going to put up about 75 in this one. The Cougs are trying but it's going to take more time to claw their way back from a nearly bottomless pit. Adding insult to injury, they've lost their best running back and two of their starting offensive linemen. It's enough to drive all those teetotalers in Pullman to drink.
Pick: USC

Arizona at Oregon State
Mike Stoops, who bears a stunning resemblance to Barney Rubble, is already changing quarterbacks three games in. Betty, I want him to stay at UA forever and ever and ever.
Pick: Oregon State